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and so summer ends, and fall begins.

With the blog challenge and a few other things, I realized that I haven't actually posted about our happenings since March. And even then it was solely an update on Eric's scan.

If Peggy (my late mother-in-law) were around she would say, "Tell me about Holly". She always asked the questions that I didn't want to answer.

Things are hard right now. I know I haven't written anything about our struggle with infertility since... December? On the one hand, I can't believe it has been that long since we started trying to figure out this baby thing. On the other hand, this summer felt like it was twelve months long.

The pain that has accompanied this process trial is far more than I ever could have anticipated. Mostly emotional, some physical. It is damaging. It has been damaging from the get-go. And my only hope is that it won't always be damaging. I do see in my mind a picture of me, with 2 or 3 kids someday (thoughts of a big family have been dashed---not that I was ever sure), looking back on this sorrow and wanting to tell 26-year-old me that it will be okay, and that it will be worth it.

But you know, maybe not. You never know.

We have been thinking a lot about what we should do in the future. I read a quote on pinterest the other day and I haven't got it out of my mind [sidebar: I only liked it, I didn't repin it, because I never trust a quote on pinterest until I search the rest of the internet to make sure it's real and actually said by the alleged person. And this one was partially misquoted on pinterest.] But this is how it (truly) goes:

"There is no passion to be found in playing small-- in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." -- Nelson Mandela

Being home, having good jobs and loving each other is in no way "playing small", but I just have been thinking a lot. About the future. What will God let it hold and what will I make of it?

As for our day-to-day lives, here is the quick catch-up: summer at work for me was quiet (a much needed lull) but picked up about 5 days ago, Eric is back at school this week and working. We sold both our cars the beginning of summer and bought another one, survived with one and our second car arrives today and can't come soon enough! We are dying trying to juggle our schedules.

We went to Denver in June with my family which was delightful but far too short. I have had two nieces born in the last month and one due in about a week (that's 6 nieces, 0 nephews on my side for anyone keeping score). We saw performances of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and Wicked, had a moonlit ride on the ski lift at Sundance, and went to a great old-school-ska concert. Those are the highlights of the summer, anyway.

peace. love.
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  1. RosieAugust 30, 2012 at 12:58 PM

    Hey! Love ya!

    ReplyDelete
  2. LisaAugust 30, 2012 at 1:20 PM

    Dope. You forgot dope

    ReplyDelete
  3. Matt and StefanieAugust 30, 2012 at 3:08 PM

    I just love you guys. I want to take all of your crappy summer and throw it in the trash!!! But seriously, if I could have felt the pain for you I would have.

    ReplyDelete

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